


The Heart Is Amazing {Rewrite}

by SummerStormFlower



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Angst, Crying, Death, F/M, Gen, Grief, Heartbreak, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Love Lost - Freeform, Mourning, Other, Underage Drinking, lloyd angst, lloyd is sad, the stages of grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:49:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24922606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SummerStormFlower/pseuds/SummerStormFlower
Summary: Lloyd is trying to cope with Harumi’s death, coupled with the heartbreak......He’s not doing a very good job.
Relationships: Cole & Lloyd Garmadon & Kai & Nya & Jay Walker & Zane, Lloyd Garmadon/Harumi
Comments: 9
Kudos: 52





	The Heart Is Amazing {Rewrite}

How do you know when you’re in love? It might sound crazy, but... you know the moment you meet them, the moment you see them. You just know. 

Lloyd knew. He knew the second he saw Harumi for the very first time. He was in love.

But her love was a lie. All along, she had been using him. Every smile, every laugh, every soft look, every brush of the hand had been fake. Everything was fake.

That was what Lloyd’s mother told him. She was probably right, but Lloyd just... couldn’t believe that. 

To think, that all they’d been through had meant nothing to Harumi... it hurt too much.

Maybe in another time or another place, they could’ve loved each other. For real.

It was hard to describe exactly how Lloyd felt when he watched her die. She had tricked him. She had broke his heart. She’d taken everything from him.

And yet, all he... All he could feel was this emptiness inside of him. Even through all the fighting, a small part of Lloyd had loved her still.

And then she was gone.  
____________________

“Lloyd?” Nya knocked softly on Lloyd’s bedroom door. There was no answer, but she knew he was in there. He hadn’t come out in days.

Nya opened the door and slowly poked her head inside, searching around in the dark. She spotted movement from Lloyd’s bed.

“Hey,” she said with a gentle smile. 

Lloyd didn’t answer.

Nya’s smile fell. She cleared her throat. “It’s suppertime. We’re waiting for you,” she told him.

“I’m not hungry,” Lloyd mumbled.

Nya frowned. “You haven’t eaten anything today.”

“I said I’m not hungry.”

Nya sighed. “Okay,” she said, quiet defeat in her tone.

She turned to leave, hesitating, and looked back over her shoulder. “Just... When you’re ready to talk,” she started, “you can come to me if you want.”

She waited. Lloyd didn’t say anything. 

Nya sighed once more, her heart heavy for her baby brother. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how he must have felt. He didn’t deserve what had happened to him.

Nya left the room.

Lloyd laid still for a moment. Then he rolled over and curled up in a ball, staring at the wall.  
_____________________

It took a lot of time and effort, but eventually, Lloyd came out of his bedroom. Kai was the one to get him out by asking him to run to the store with him for Master Wu.

Lloyd and Kai had always been very close. If it was anyone who could cheer him up, it was Kai.

At least that’s what Jay thought.

He wasn’t expecting them to come home, arguing. Not wanting them to catch him spying, Jay hid in the closet.

“You don’t understand, Kai!” Lloyd shouted, face twisted in a glare.

“Because you won’t talk to me!” Kai shouted back, nose turning an angry red.

Lloyd leaned right in towards Kai, close enough that their foreheads were almost touching. Green eyes scrunched and brow narrowed, he spoke dangerously calm.

“Why would I want to tell you anything?” His words had the bite he intended.

Kai winced and looked away. 

Then Lloyd turned and left for his bedroom.

Kai dragged a stressed hand through his hair, sighing heavily.

Then he heard a sneeze.

Frowning, he looked at the closet. 

Jay tensed. 

Kai squinted for a second, then groaned, rolling his eyes. “You can come out, Jay,” he said. 

Jay did so hesitantly, never really knowing how to act around Kai after he’d been in an argument. Sometimes Kai was just angry. Other times, he was furious and ready to lash out against anything that moved.

“Sorry,” Jay apologized immediately. 

“It’s fine,” Kai replied sadly.

Jay went to stand beside him when it seemed Kai wasn’t going to attack him. This must not have been just any regular argument. Kai was sad. And Jay wasn’t sure if that was better than anger. 

“What happened?” Jay asked, looking in the direction Lloyd’s room was. 

“I screwed up,” Kai responded, and he very rarely ever admitted when he screwed up. “I said I knew how he felt, but... I thought it’d make him feel better, but I don’t know. And I just made things worse.”

Jay placed a hand on Kai’s shoulder. “Hey, at least you tried,” he comforted, “Tell ya what, I’ll go talk to Lloyd.”

Kai gave him a reluctant look. “Not sure if that’s a good idea. He’s pretty steamed.”

Jay shook his head. “I’ll tread lightly.”

Kai still seemed hesitant. “You sure?”

“Come on!” Jay said with a grin, “You forget who I am. I am the king of cheering people up.”  
_____________________

Jay realized he might need to revoke his own title. It had started out alright. Lloyd was clearly still upset, but coherent enough to have a conversation with. They’d been speaking gently—Jay trying to be as empathetic as possible. 

But then Jay accidentally said something that set Lloyd off, and he was met with a fist to his eye. 

“Am I not allowed to feel sad?! Am I just supposed to be happy all the time?!” Lloyd shouted at him, pushing him out of his room. 

“What? No! I didn’t mean that!” Jay tried to correct Lloyd’s misunderstanding, but Lloyd wasn’t listening anymore. 

“Excuse me if I’m not indestructible! I’m so sorry if I just wanna be left alone!!” was the last thing Lloyd said before slamming the door in Jay’s face. 

Jay sighed, covering his throbbing eye. That... did not go well. 

“What was that?”

“What happened?”

They’d apparently made a louder ruckus than Jay thought, when all the others, including Master Wu, appeared. 

Nya gasped when she saw him holding his eye. “Jay, what happened?”

“I made Lloyd mad,” Jay told her, smiling a little when Nya made to fuss over him. 

“It will likely be awhile before Lloyd is not prone to emotional outbursts,” Zane said, his concern showing in its own way. 

“Lloyd is going through the stages of grief,” said Master Wu, eyes glossy with sadness. “We must be patient and loving with him, even when his grief presents itself as anger.”

The ninja nodded. However, that would be easier said than done, as proven by today.  
_____________________

Cole knew how grief worked, having experienced it firsthand. He knew how it ate away at one’s bones. And he knew that right now, Lloyd didn’t need patience and kindness. He needed an outlet for his anger. 

So that’s why he offered Lloyd a spar.

When Cole lost his mom, climbing mountains was the outlet he’d found. Physical exertion was the best way to release anger. What was better for Lloyd than a spar?

It took some provoking to get Lloyd to participate, but soon enough, he was throwing punches and kicks. They went at one another for hours.

By the time they began to slow down, they were both sweating and the sun was setting. 

Cole blocked a punch. “You should apologize to Jay. And to Kai,” he said, throwing a strike of his own.

Lloyd blocked and dodged. Then he frowned at Cole. “What?”

“I said you should apologize.”

Lloyd looked upset now.

Cole sighed and stopped. “Look, I know you’re angry and hurt. But that’s no excuse to blame others.”

“I’m not—“ Lloyd hesitated when Cole raised a brow at him. He gritted his teeth. 

Cole’s eyes softened, heart aching for his brother. He reached out to place a hand on Lloyd’s shoulder. But then Lloyd shoved past him and started walking away without a word. 

Cole watched him until he disappeared from the training room. He sighed. 

When Lloyd’s headspace wasn’t very good, he didn’t think rationally. Cole hoped he wouldn’t do anything stupid.  
_____________________

Lloyd had done something stupid.

He had disappeared. None of them knew where he’d gone, or if something had happened to him. They didn’t even know when he left. He hadn’t told anyone what he was doing.

Now the ninja were frantically searching all over Ninjago for their stupid baby brother.

Zane was the one who received the call.

“Lloyd!” he shouted into his phone, panic clutching his chest.

“Hi Zane,” Lloyd replied cheerfully, giggling, as if he hadn’t went missing and terrified his siblings half to death.

Zane sighed a breath of relief upon hearing Lloyd’s voice nonetheless.  
“Lloyd, where are you?” he demanded.

“You sound mad.”

Zane frowned. Was Lloyd pouting?

“Are you mad at me?” Lloyd was pouting. His words slurred together and he hiccuped. “Why are you mad at me?”

Zane’s frown deepened. Lloyd sounded really out of it. He sounded... drunk.

“Don’t be mad at me, Zane. I-I don’t like it when people are mad at me.”

“Lloyd,” Zane began, “tell me where you are.” Lloyd was a teenager and drunk, and Zane needed to find him as quick as possible.

“You are mad at me!” Lloyd suddenly cried.

“Yes, I am,” Zane said calmly.

“You don’t like me anymore!” Lloyd wailed, sobs breaking out of him. “You hate me!”

Zane’s eyes widened. Hate Lloyd? Zane wasn’t physically capable of doing that.

“I most certainly do not hate y—“

“Liar! You do! You hate me! You-you don’t love me anymore!”

“Lloyd!” Zane snapped, stern but not unkind. Lloyd quieted as much as he could, only making little breathy sounds somewhere between a sob and whimper. “Listen to me, brother. Just because I am upset with you, does not mean I hate you. Do you understand me?”

Lloyd didn’t say anything, but made a sad sort-of-hum that told Zane he was listening.

Zane continued, “I am worried about you. You scared me, Lloyd. And that is why I am upset with you. But I could never hate you. You power me. You are the reason I know how to love.”

Lloyd inhaled shakily.

“Do you understand me?” Zane asked again. 

“Y-yes.” Lloyd was sobbing now.

“Good,” Zane sighed, relief flooding him again. He’d thought for a moment Lloyd was going to hang up on him. “Now, I need you to—“

“I love you, Zane,” Lloyd interrupted, Zane’s heart clenching at his watery voice. “I’m sorry. Please-please don’t leave me alone. I’m sorry, I’m—“

“I love you too. I am not going to leave you alone,” Zane said, unable to fathom where Lloyd could’ve possibly gotten that idea, “Okay?”

“Yeah. O-Okay.”

“Good. Now I need you to tell me where you are. Can you do that?”

“I don’t k-know.”

“Then can you describe your surroundings? Perhaps I can figure out out where to find you if you tell me what you see. Do you think you can do that?”

“Yeah. I-I see t-this frog—“

“I meant the scenery, Lloyd. Can you tell me what the scenery looks like?”

“O-okay. There-there’s this pond?”

“Yes, very good. Keep going.”  
____________________

Zane found Lloyd, sitting beside the water fountain and sopping wet. After shimmying him onto Zane’s back, they’d gone home. Lloyd had fallen half-asleep on the way there, and Zane’s shoulders were starting to ache. The Green Ninja wasn’t exactly a feather.

He’d tucked Lloyd in bed, then went to throw Lloyd’s wet laundry in the washing machine.

The scream caught him off guard.

“Zane! Zane!”

Zane jolted at the sound, falling backwards, and his foot slipping through one of the holes in the laundry basket. Then, as if that wasn’t enough, his leg banged against the cabinet where a huge stack of laundry was piled. All of it fell right on top of him.

Kai then appeared in the doorway, eyes frantic. “Zane, why is he screaming—huh?” Kai blinked when he didn’t see Zane in the room. He looked around, but still didn’t see him. 

Zane’s voice suddenly came from the pile of laundry on the floor. “I don’t know!”

“What the—what did you—no, never mind,” Kai said before turning his head towards the left hallway. “Nya, come help Zane!” he called. Then he told Zane, “I’ll go check on him.”

“I appreciate it,” Zane grunted from the laundry pile.

Kai barged into Lloyd’s bedroom.

“Kai!” Lloyd cried when he saw him, immediately reaching out for him.

Kai looked around the room, his panic fading when he saw there was no danger. He sat down on the edge of Lloyd’s bed, trying not to cringe at the smell of alcohol on Lloyd’s breath, as he pulled him into a hug.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I don’t wanna be alone!” Lloyd sobbed.

“Hey, hey, relax. I’m right here. You’re not alone.”

“I-I don’t want to be alone! I’m tired of b-being alone! P-Please d-don’t leave me—“

“Lloyd,” Kai said, gripping Lloyd’s shoulders and pulling back to look at his face. “I am not going to leave you,” he spoke, punctuating the importance of each of his words by squeezing Lloyd’s arms. “I will never leave you. Nobody is going to leave you. Got that?”

Lloyd whimpered, wiping at his eyes with his fists, and looking like he was ten again.

“Okay?” Kai asked, wanting to make sure Lloyd knew what he was saying.

“Okay,” Lloyd replied. He sniffled, swiping at the remainder of his tears. “I miss Harumi.” 

Kai tensed. “You miss her?” he asked in disbelief. After everything that witch had done to his baby brother, Kai had nothing but contempt for her.

Lloyd hung his head sadly. “She was my first love,” he responded.

Kai deflated, heart pinching at Lloyd’s words. He pulled him in a little closer, letting Lloyd rest his head on his shoulder.

“I should have...” Lloyd gulped, tears collecting in his eyes again. “I should’ve saved her,” he choked, biting his lip hard. “But I didn’t and now she’s dead because of me.” And he was crying all over again. But these weren’t scared tears this time. These were agonized, heartbroken tears.

Kai wrapped him in another hug, this one gentle, rather than reassuring-tight. “Don’t say that. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Yes, it was!”

“No, it wasn’t. You didn’t know she would be on that building. There was nothing you could’ve done.”

“No, no... It was my fault, it was my fault, it was—“

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Lloyd inhaled shakily through his tears. “I miss her.”

Kai rubbed Lloyd’s back comfortingly. “I know you do,” he whispered, swallowing thickly. It hurt that Lloyd was hurting so much. “But you’ll get through this.”

Lloyd sniffled, wiping at his face once more. “I don’t t-think I can,” he stammered, tears still coming.

Kai shook his head. “You can. You can and you will,” he promised, “Because you’ve got us.”

The heart is an amazing thing.  
It shatters,  
but builds itself back.  
It screams,  
yet it also sings.  
It can be cold,  
but it can also exude warmth,   
warmer than the sun.  
The heart can feel so much pain,  
yet still embrace joy.  
The heart is amazing.

**Author's Note:**

> I edited this to the best of my abilities, but I apologize if I missed a few errors.
> 
> Thank you for reading


End file.
